You probably think you do. I did, and then I realized I was wrong. Because you might love how you look, or you might love what you’ve accomplished, or love who you are dating. But that’s not Loving yourself. That’s judging yourself positively based on a scale and giving yourself a little love cookie for your efforts. It is a conditional form of “love” that we are taught to believe is the basis for love. But that’s not real Love.
To really Love yourself is to Love yourself for no reason at all. Simply because you exist. It is to know that because you exist, you are worthy of Love. Full stop. And that means that everyone is worthy of Love.
That’s why Loving yourself is the opposite of narcissism. When you are a narcissist, you believe that you are special because of some trait you have. The word comes from Greek mythology wherein a man named Narcissus spent all of his time gazing at his own reflection in the water of a pond because he thought he was so handsome. Handsome is a comparison to other men. He was enamored with an attribute of himself, which is not Loving himself. You can tell that is true, because if a disease or a fire scarred his face and he was no longer handsome, he would undoubtedly hate himself.
Some people are afraid to love themselves because they are worried that if they do, they won’t be motivated to accomplish what they want to accomplish in life.
But this is a false premise. When you Love yourself, you are motivated to share your gifts with the world in the most effervescent and vital way possible. Because you realize that everyone is worthy of being Loved. And all that time you spend in fear of self loathing, or letting yourself down, you can spend in the act of creation or service.
But I’m not just writing this newsletter to give another treatise on the nature of Love. Don Miguel Ruiz and Ram Dass can do that better than I can. But finally, for the first time in my life, I encountered someone who gave a simple, actionable formula for HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF. This man who I am now proud to call a friend and brother is Kamal Ravikant. Our podcast released today.
I believe it is the most important podcast I have ever released. Please listen to it, and please share it with anyone who might benefit from it.
– Aubrey Marcus